People are Always Worth it!

I've had some interesting relationship experiences recently, some that prune me and some that grow me. I'll get personal here as I admit that I've been in two different relationships in the last few months. One followed right after the other and it's been an interesting process. While I wasn't looking/hoping for a new relationship so quickly, it's been interesting walking some of the same paths with different people in such a short period of time. But it's been harder than I'd anticipated in some unexpected ways. One of the difficult ways is that, in the previous relationship, I grew attached to my now-ex's family. They are a wonderful group of people that were very welcoming and all-around good people. I almost could have married him, just to have them for in-laws and I was almost more distraught over losing them than I was about breaking up with my boyfriend.

Now, I find myself in a new relationship with new family members to meet. I'll admit, part of me has been very resistant to meeting his family because I don't want to get attached again if it's doesn't end up working out. I know, that the idea of waiting to meet someone's family until I'm sure of the relationship is a crazy idea, but I would prefer breakups to involve the least losses possible.

As I've wrestled with this idea, something that a friend shared with me a while back continues to teach me.
She said, "I've learned that: People are always worth the struggle or enjoyment." Whether this current relationship lasts or not, there is value in building relationships and coming to know more of Father's children. Obviously, this is a lesson that my fearful heart still has to learn again and again, but I thought it was one worth sharing.

Charity has no expiration dates and should be the standard regardless of outcome. It's always worth it to get to know somebody new. Thank you to that friend who continues to teach me, though she is far away!

Where I'm supposed to be

If you're struggling with "come what may and love it" maybe this will help you.

At the beginning of my time on the trail, I learned to start each day with a question to the Creator: Am I where I'm supposed to be today?

This question enabled me to forget about the struggles of the past and not focus too much on the uncertainties of the future. This question (and an affirmative answer) gave me confidence in whatever I had to do that day. Because I knew that, no matter what happened, I was where I was supposed to be and the Lord supported me.

I'm not sure when, but at some point I stopped asking this question. And today, a dear friend reminded me of it. Am I where I'm supposed to be today? Am I where the Lord wants me to be? 

No matter the past and regardless of the future, if the answer to this question is yes, then I can continue forward with strength in the Lord. If the answer is no, then what do I need to change to get back to where I'm supposed to be?

I hope that each of us can be where the Lord wants us to be, and if we're not, then I hope we can find the courage to get there.

Say What?

Once upon a time, I had a mission companion that gave me one of the best gifts ever! She taught me the value of writing down the awesome things that other people say! For the last year or so, I've been more active with this and I love the flood of memories that each quote brings. Some are funny, some are inspiring and some just sound cool.

So, for your enjoyment (or confusion) here are some of my favorite quotes.

• "When Stalking pays off, it's totally fine." - Kenady
• "You do desperate really well!" - Laura*
• "You guys are out there saving lives and saving hearts." - Scottie
• "Guys are so lucky with their short hair. And I wake up and I'm like: I can't salvage that!" - Haley
• "You're Doin' It!" - Anasazi people
• "In the midst of all storms there can be happiness." - Brother Coates (an ASU ward) (I LOVE storms!!)
• "Father, you've given me this missionary experience. Please help me to not screw it up!" -from a comment in Sunday School
• "I'm not a fan of school, but I enjoy learning." - Sheldon
• "You're a pretty good fuzzy-headed guy." - Brett*
• "Why have fish, when you have me?!" - Nicole R.
• "I don't want to say it like this, but I'll say it like this. You're really weird!" - Steph Steph*
• "Sometimes life gets REAL!" -April
• "You will never regret following the SacredWind, but you will always regret NOT following it." -BrightOwl (Jeremy)
• "Trust is not a prerequisite. It's an outcome." -Beyond Right And Wrong
• "I'm the cutest human." -Lyssa
• "All good things end with kissing." -Lindsay
• "Nah, you've got cool stuff. You've got yourself!" -April
• "What better thing can you do, than to honor a person for the good that they do in their life." YellowWolf (Larry O.)
• "I've got four jelly beans, and there are four of us. Whadda ya say we party?!!" -Jeremy
• "I think every boy should jump at the chance to hang out with you!" -Angela
• "I like white chocolate the best." - Amy
  "What?! That's not even real! It's a byproduct!" - Me
  "Well, I like byproducts! I'm a byproduct of my parents. Happiness is a byproduct of service." - Amy
  "You're justifying now. Do you know what justification leads to?" - Me
  "Byproducts?!" - Amy
• "Everyday you should be grateful that you're a member of this church and everyday you should share that with someone." -Michelle M. 
• "Can you get expelled for snuggling?" -Chelsey R

*The "you"s are almost always referring to me...

Lover AND Fighter

My first day at ANASAZI, I learned about the symbols we call the "Heart At War" and "Heart At Peace".

I have learned several things about these two images, but the thing that keeps coming back to me recently is the role of the arrows. When you're at war with someone, you have your weapons pointed at them. However, when you're at peace with someone, you turn your arrows outward and they become the person you are now defending.

Working with YoungWalkers I had the opportunity of seeing a lot of war turn to peace and I learned a beautiful fact, the YoungWalkers never wanted to fight their parents, any more than the parents wanted to be fighting. With all the obstacles in the wilderness of the world we find ourselves endless cycles of fight or flight and too often it's the people that mean the most to us that we turn our Arrows on.

But the truth is, we all just want someone who has our backs. We want someone who will fight FOR us. We are all seeking someone to love, trust and fight alongside. And we all want to know that we are worth fighting for. In this world that seeks to tear us down with it's messages that we are not smart enough, pretty enough, strong enough or worthwhile, we hunger for someone who will tell us that we are. We want to surround ourselves with people that prove to us through their actions that we are worthy of love, that we are worthy of their time and effort and that we are worth defending.

We all want to be fought for and know that we are not alone in this battle. So what do we have in our lives? Is it keeping us from fighting for the things the really matter and the people that deserve our hearts? What do we really want and are we willing to fight with all of our hearts for it?

When you love something or someone you fight FOR it. You throw all your energy into it. Peace comes from giving your all in defending something important. I'm a fighter because I love deeply. I love life. I love dreaming big. I love seeking growth. I am willing to defend the things that make up my core. I will defend those that are important to me. And I won't back down until the battle is over.

Recent Adventures

I thought I'd take a break from thinking and share a few of my recent adventures. These last couple months have been too much fun.

#1 - Grand Canyon with Kalia - Back in March, Kalia surprised me by visiting my state one weekend. So I drove up to Grand Canyon and we had a blast. We got to see the main views, watch a cool Imax movie on the history of it (yes, I'm still a history lover) and even got...

...A HELICOPTER RIDE OVER THE CANYON!! Needless to say, it was amazing!

#2 - General Conference - I haven't been able to attend conference (or my mission reunions) for a couple years so it was fun to get up there and it was great getting to spend some time with Mom, Dad and Emma before they move East.

And, after much hunting, I found Sister Turro! (She was the only Young Woman in my first area on my mission and now she's serving on Temple Square)

#3 - Apache Lake - my friend, Lara, introduced me to this fun little place on a day of random adventure-wandering. 

I love adventures with no specific plan! Yes, we did
just jump in the water fully clothed and it felt great!

So when my friends, Laura and Lyssa came to visit and wanted to beat the Arizona heat I got to go back to Apache Lake. The water was a bit too cold and the air too windy to enjoy much swimming, but we had a fun time enjoying the sunshine together.

The Beach, a guitar and good friends = the life!

#4 - Finishing on the Trail - I knew that my time on the trail was coming to an end so for one last request, I asked my boss if I could walk with Brett (who was also finishing his time on the trail before leaving for study abroad).

It was one of the hardest, yet best weeks of my life. Seeing my brother as the awesome TrailWalker that he is was so rewarding. Even though he's my younger brother, I look up to him in every way!

Some other "family" joined the pic as well-Andy (left) and Nicole (right)!

Although leaving the trail has been hard, I know the Creator is guiding my walking and has good things in store for me. He's never given me anything but goodness before.

#5 - Zion - Sometimes I can get several of my friends from different circles together and we have a blast. This weekend involved a freezing, yet beautiful hike up the Narrows, an early morning climb up to Angels Landing and lots of laughter and good times. It was great to get away for a few days, unwind, and adventure!

The view on top of Angels' Landing

My life is full of great people and fun times. To everyone that I call friend: thanks for being amazing and letting me into your lives. You're all so great!!