Where I'm supposed to be

If you're struggling with "come what may and love it" maybe this will help you.

At the beginning of my time on the trail, I learned to start each day with a question to the Creator: Am I where I'm supposed to be today?

This question enabled me to forget about the struggles of the past and not focus too much on the uncertainties of the future. This question (and an affirmative answer) gave me confidence in whatever I had to do that day. Because I knew that, no matter what happened, I was where I was supposed to be and the Lord supported me.

I'm not sure when, but at some point I stopped asking this question. And today, a dear friend reminded me of it. Am I where I'm supposed to be today? Am I where the Lord wants me to be? 

No matter the past and regardless of the future, if the answer to this question is yes, then I can continue forward with strength in the Lord. If the answer is no, then what do I need to change to get back to where I'm supposed to be?

I hope that each of us can be where the Lord wants us to be, and if we're not, then I hope we can find the courage to get there.

Say What?

Once upon a time, I had a mission companion that gave me one of the best gifts ever! She taught me the value of writing down the awesome things that other people say! For the last year or so, I've been more active with this and I love the flood of memories that each quote brings. Some are funny, some are inspiring and some just sound cool.

So, for your enjoyment (or confusion) here are some of my favorite quotes.

• "When Stalking pays off, it's totally fine." - Kenady
• "You do desperate really well!" - Laura*
• "You guys are out there saving lives and saving hearts." - Scottie
• "Guys are so lucky with their short hair. And I wake up and I'm like: I can't salvage that!" - Haley
• "You're Doin' It!" - Anasazi people
• "In the midst of all storms there can be happiness." - Brother Coates (an ASU ward) (I LOVE storms!!)
• "Father, you've given me this missionary experience. Please help me to not screw it up!" -from a comment in Sunday School
• "I'm not a fan of school, but I enjoy learning." - Sheldon
• "You're a pretty good fuzzy-headed guy." - Brett*
• "Why have fish, when you have me?!" - Nicole R.
• "I don't want to say it like this, but I'll say it like this. You're really weird!" - Steph Steph*
• "Sometimes life gets REAL!" -April
• "You will never regret following the SacredWind, but you will always regret NOT following it." -BrightOwl (Jeremy)
• "Trust is not a prerequisite. It's an outcome." -Beyond Right And Wrong
• "I'm the cutest human." -Lyssa
• "All good things end with kissing." -Lindsay
• "Nah, you've got cool stuff. You've got yourself!" -April
• "What better thing can you do, than to honor a person for the good that they do in their life." YellowWolf (Larry O.)
• "I've got four jelly beans, and there are four of us. Whadda ya say we party?!!" -Jeremy
• "I think every boy should jump at the chance to hang out with you!" -Angela
• "I like white chocolate the best." - Amy
  "What?! That's not even real! It's a byproduct!" - Me
  "Well, I like byproducts! I'm a byproduct of my parents. Happiness is a byproduct of service." - Amy
  "You're justifying now. Do you know what justification leads to?" - Me
  "Byproducts?!" - Amy
• "Everyday you should be grateful that you're a member of this church and everyday you should share that with someone." -Michelle M. 
• "Can you get expelled for snuggling?" -Chelsey R

*The "you"s are almost always referring to me...

Lover AND Fighter

My first day at ANASAZI, I learned about the symbols we call the "Heart At War" and "Heart At Peace".

I have learned several things about these two images, but the thing that keeps coming back to me recently is the role of the arrows. When you're at war with someone, you have your weapons pointed at them. However, when you're at peace with someone, you turn your arrows outward and they become the person you are now defending.

Working with YoungWalkers I had the opportunity of seeing a lot of war turn to peace and I learned a beautiful fact, the YoungWalkers never wanted to fight their parents, any more than the parents wanted to be fighting. With all the obstacles in the wilderness of the world we find ourselves endless cycles of fight or flight and too often it's the people that mean the most to us that we turn our Arrows on.

But the truth is, we all just want someone who has our backs. We want someone who will fight FOR us. We are all seeking someone to love, trust and fight alongside. And we all want to know that we are worth fighting for. In this world that seeks to tear us down with it's messages that we are not smart enough, pretty enough, strong enough or worthwhile, we hunger for someone who will tell us that we are. We want to surround ourselves with people that prove to us through their actions that we are worthy of love, that we are worthy of their time and effort and that we are worth defending.

We all want to be fought for and know that we are not alone in this battle. So what do we have in our lives? Is it keeping us from fighting for the things the really matter and the people that deserve our hearts? What do we really want and are we willing to fight with all of our hearts for it?

When you love something or someone you fight FOR it. You throw all your energy into it. Peace comes from giving your all in defending something important. I'm a fighter because I love deeply. I love life. I love dreaming big. I love seeking growth. I am willing to defend the things that make up my core. I will defend those that are important to me. And I won't back down until the battle is over.