Recent Adventures

I thought I'd take a break from thinking and share a few of my recent adventures. These last couple months have been too much fun.

#1 - Grand Canyon with Kalia - Back in March, Kalia surprised me by visiting my state one weekend. So I drove up to Grand Canyon and we had a blast. We got to see the main views, watch a cool Imax movie on the history of it (yes, I'm still a history lover) and even got...

...A HELICOPTER RIDE OVER THE CANYON!! Needless to say, it was amazing!

#2 - General Conference - I haven't been able to attend conference (or my mission reunions) for a couple years so it was fun to get up there and it was great getting to spend some time with Mom, Dad and Emma before they move East.

And, after much hunting, I found Sister Turro! (She was the only Young Woman in my first area on my mission and now she's serving on Temple Square)

#3 - Apache Lake - my friend, Lara, introduced me to this fun little place on a day of random adventure-wandering. 

I love adventures with no specific plan! Yes, we did
just jump in the water fully clothed and it felt great!

So when my friends, Laura and Lyssa came to visit and wanted to beat the Arizona heat I got to go back to Apache Lake. The water was a bit too cold and the air too windy to enjoy much swimming, but we had a fun time enjoying the sunshine together.

The Beach, a guitar and good friends = the life!

#4 - Finishing on the Trail - I knew that my time on the trail was coming to an end so for one last request, I asked my boss if I could walk with Brett (who was also finishing his time on the trail before leaving for study abroad).

It was one of the hardest, yet best weeks of my life. Seeing my brother as the awesome TrailWalker that he is was so rewarding. Even though he's my younger brother, I look up to him in every way!

Some other "family" joined the pic as well-Andy (left) and Nicole (right)!

Although leaving the trail has been hard, I know the Creator is guiding my walking and has good things in store for me. He's never given me anything but goodness before.

#5 - Zion - Sometimes I can get several of my friends from different circles together and we have a blast. This weekend involved a freezing, yet beautiful hike up the Narrows, an early morning climb up to Angels Landing and lots of laughter and good times. It was great to get away for a few days, unwind, and adventure!

The view on top of Angels' Landing

My life is full of great people and fun times. To everyone that I call friend: thanks for being amazing and letting me into your lives. You're all so great!!

What do I really want? (part-2)

As I've been making plans for the future and praying about where I should be and what I should be doing I keep running into roadblocks. There are so many places that I would love to go and so many options of what I could be doing. Yet, everywhere that I consider I receive a "No" from the Lord. As I mourned the loss of another possibility I thought to myself, "Why can't I just do what I want?!"

Instantly I was reminded of this concept concerning what I really want . In Church a week or so ago, a new girl in my ward made a profound statement in her introduction: "I really just want to please Heavenly Father." What a beautiful purpose! As I sat in that chapel I prayed that that would be my goal as well. I realized all that I really want is to please Father. I said I was willing to do whatever is necessary to please him and do his will.

At first this seemed like a daunting thing to ask/promise. I have some trust issues and trusting the Lord with my everything is a little scary. And harder still: trusting myself. I don't know that I trust myself enough to follow God's plan well. But I want to want this, and thanks to my friend Alma, I know that's possible. "Now, if ye give place, that a seed may be planted in your heart, (it doesn't have to be anything big or dominating, but a start as simple as a little seed) behold, if it be a true seed, or a good seed, if ye do not cast it out by your unbelief, that ye will resist the Spirit of the Lord, behold, it will begin to swell within your breasts." (Alma 32:28)

So, now that I know what I want to want (to please Heavenly Father) the next question to process is: how much do I really want it?

What do I really want?

In my time on the trail I have had the opportunity of seeing many YoungWalkers in their first days on the trail. It's interesting their attitudes as they begin their walking. Many of them did not seek this experience, and they spend most of their time anticipating the how wonderful things will be when they return home and can enjoy all the foods they craved on the trail.

Occasionally, however, you get that one YoungWalker. They don't want to change, but they want to want it. You can see it in their eyes and feel it from their hearts. They aren't ready to let go of the things that are holding them back, but they are beginning to see what their future could look like and their hearts begin to turn toward the light.

Pondering on this process in YoungWalkers has led me to wonder where I am in the process. Do I want goodness, or do I simply want to want it?

Sure, I've had those moments after General Conference, or when I got home from my mission, when my desires were right in line with the people of King Mosiah when they said: "The Spirit of the Lord Omnipotent, which has wrought a mighty change in us, or in our hearts, that we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually."

But on a day to day basis, what do I really want? What are the sincere desires of my heart?

Wait, This Isn't Normal??

Growing up in the Jenkins house generally involved lots of noise, bouncing off the walls (literally; that was Brett's and my job), and music. Due to the fact that random outbursts of song from any number of members (awkward harmonization included) and dancing around the kitchen were the norm, we would often joke that our life was a musical.

However, a funny realization came to me the other day. As much as we would love to think that our singing and dancing was beautiful and looked well choreographed, the truth is we had really good imaginations. In fact, to call it a musical seems a bit unfair to the actual Idina Menzel's and Heather Headley's of the stage.

When a series of emails passed between me and my brother started with "(this song) reminds me of life right now" I discovered the truth of my childhood. My life isn't a musical, it's a soundtrack! I have theme songs for various eras and events in my life. And based on the growing number of playlists in my Spotify I think I have a problem. But for those of you who haven't experienced it, there's a beautiful satisfaction that comes from finding the perfect song to describe your situation or feelings!

Get Lost

My walking has changed so much in the last couple months, it's been more like a running or a climbing, (the struggle is real). One way that I have grown is being able to get lost.

At the beginning of this year, I took on a new role in the wilderness, I became one of the "veterans" and trainers. This meant I would have an entire band of people depending on me. This thought already intimated me and became the driving fear during an experience where I got lost by myself.Knowing where you are and where you're going is crucial in the wilderness. You can put yourself in great peril if you don't take time to learn your surroundings or plan your path well.

It was the week before I would train and I went to the trail to help with some other responsibilities. One of those responsibilities was going into the bands to deliver some supplies. I was alone for this adventure and by the time I finished in the bands it was already dark. I quite the hike ahead of me to get from the bands to our base camp and the area we were staying in was new to me. Despite getting directions from several trustworthy helpers, I took a wrong turn somewhere and ended up in on an unfamiliar path. When I reached the main road I didn't that passed through the area I didn't know if I should follow it to the right or the left. My gut instinct told me to go left and I set off under the stars hoping that this was the right direction.

As I walked along, with little more than the stars to orient I began to worry about my ability to orient. If I could get so disoriented at a place that should have been easy to navigate how was I to lead a group of YoungWalkers and trainees through the back-country? Profound doubts troubled my heart as I walked that quiet path.

I wasn't too worried about my physical well being. Though it was taking longer than I expected, I was comforted by the fact that I knew I had he stamina to wander all night if needed and I felt safe there in the wilderness that I had called "home" for 8 months. It wasn't until I ran into a ranch near the road that I started to worry. I didn't recognize this place and didn't know if it presented any danger. For the first time in a long time, I was afraid.

With nothing more than a compass and my vague memories of this new area, and no way to contact my team, I did the only thing I could do - I got on my knees. Never have I wanted so badly to be back in my safe place. I felt physically and emotionally vulnerable and ached for the safety and comfort of my friends and fellow TrailWalkers around a bright, warm fire. As I called on the heavens to lead me I felt little direct guidance. But standing up, I remembered the saying of a mission companion - "The Lord can't lead us if we're standing still." Reasoning that the ranch was too far and I had been hiking the wrong way, I turned around and began walking the other direction. However, it only took about 5 steps before it felt distinctly wrong. I turned around, still very unsure of my reasoning, but trusting in what I felt. It took another 10 minutes or so (which felt like an hour) but I did finally arrive at my camp.

Rarely have I been so grateful to arrive at my destination. Seeing the faces of my beloved friends and feeling the safety of that place was true peace. But what's more - I learned that I can navigate, not necessarily by the a compass, GPS or even the stars, but by my heart and the love that a Father in Heaven has for me. I can navigate spiritually.

While I still have much honing to do of this unique instrument, it was a beautiful lesson in trusting the Lord, trusting myself and walking forward despite doubts,  "reason", or my own shortsightedness. We must let ourselves get lost from ourselves if we are ever to find the Lord. So get out there. Leave your comfort zone. And let the Lord take you where you really need to be.

Learning to Wait

*Sorry I have been remiss in my posts recently. When it comes down to either writing about my adventures or going out and having more, the latter generally wins. But I have at least a half-dozen posts started and will be better at finishing/sharing them.

The Creator has spent many years teaching me to get off my duff, on my feet and do something. I’m sure it’s been very difficult for him, but he’s been patient and has lovingly guided my heart to be proactive. Now, He’s teaching me Faith in Action Part II – waiting.

A couple months ago, I was in an accident going to the trail. I was the leader and the one who had to figure out the situation and make the call on what we would do. We were about halfway between town and the bands and couldn’t decide whether it would be better to go back and, get in touch with the office and get help or walk towards the bands and hope we made it in time. Normally we have communication materials to help us contact each end of the route, but there had been several mix-ups and misunderstandings that morning and all we had was my cell phone. Unfortunately, we were too far out for me to have much reception, but after sending word in several different forms to my leaders, we went back to the car and I suggested the visitors do a ponderings camp while we sat there waiting for help. They could take a few minutes, meditate, pray, and prepare themselves for the unique opportunities that awaited them on the trail. I however, was struggling to sit. I’d grown so used to jumping into go-mode that I felt lost unless I was working toward my destination.

As I began a plea to the Creator to send help or tell me what to do next I received this instead. “Alicia,” he said, “You have done all you can. You have worked hard and done your very best. That’s all you ask of anyone else, and that’s all I ask of you. Now, I need to you be still and let me do my part. I promise I am taking care of you.”

What do you do when you can’t do anything? Trust – in the Lord, in your efforts, and in the lessons you will gain because of your experiences. He is in it. He is in charge and He wants nothing but good things for us.

As my walking continues to change, I still get ahead of myself sometimes. I want to hurry to the finish line and know what the Lord wants for me. (*Patience – especially with life – has never been my strongest suit) But it’s not a race, and there is no Final Destination. There’s only today and what I can do with the present. And once I’ve done all I can, I need to be still and see the Creator’s hand in all things. I’m learning how to wait with the Lord.