Oh Boy!

Actually there were 7! SEVEN BOYS in our band! Oh what a handful. I don't know what I would do if the Lord needed me to be a mom to 7 boys. On the one hand it would be a riot, on the other hand, I would go crazy!

The whole time I was on vacation, I had been praying to be in Girls' Band when I got back on the trail, but I found out the day before we went out that the girl that I was really hoping to walk with had finished and was going home. I was sad to know that I wouldn't be able to walk with her again but it took off some of the pressure to be in girls band before she left.* So, Wednesday morning, when I found out that I would be in Boys Band it wasn't as hard to swallow. That is, until I realized something...I'd never been in Boys' Band before and I wasn't sure I could handle it!

When we got to the band, it took some getting used to. Talking with 17 year old boys is hard. I don't know enough about their sports, music, shows, etc to really carry on a conversation about them and I don't know what else boys do in high school other than talk about girls, but that doesn't really work out in the wilderness either. And SEVEN! That's the biggest band I've dealt with and it's just hard to keep track of them all. I guess, I should be used to it since EFY was between 10 and 40, but to really help each of them walk forward takes a lot of time and attention and that's hard for 3 TWs to do for 7 boys in 8 days. 

Then, add on top of all that, the fact that one of the boys started plummeting. He was struggling a bit when we got there (he didn't eat anything Wednesday night, then threw up Thursday morning) but he has a tendency of trying to manipulate the situation like that and test out the new TWs so we got through that and hiked on Thursday. But as we hiked, we discovered a couple things. 1 - he is an INCREDIBLY slow hiker. I've never seen anyone move so slowly or so uncoordinated on boulder fields as he was, and he's been here several weeks. And 2 -  he was having some major mental struggles that were keeping him from really walking forward. 

What did all that mean? It meant that we laid-over (didn't hike) on Friday and Saturday, we never left camp before 11 am, and we only hiked about 2.5 miles in a week! It also meant that we, as a band, had the opportunity to learn great patience and compassion. It meant that all of the boys had to learn to reach outside themselves and find the good in their fellow YoungWalker. It meant that we needed to learn how to empower without enabling. (I'm going to have to do a separate entry on "enabling". It's something I am learning a lot about and I don't particularly like the connotation we have given it.)

This was a very trying week. We pulled our hair out trying to figure out how to get through to this kid and help him see just how great he is, but it's hard to help someone who doesn't want to help themselves. I was reminded again and again of my mission and those moments when trying to help someone who is being illogical/impossible. I haven't prayed that hard for discernment and charity in a long time. The most interesting thing though, is the fact that this is probably one of the weeks that I will refer to most as I look back on my walking and the experiences that have helped me grow. 

I love each of those boys. I am so grateful that I was able to walk with them and learn from them and I can't wait to see the forwards walking that they do as they finish at Anasazi and reenter the wilderness of the world. I was relieved to leave the trail yesterday. But, as always, there's a part of my heart out there, seeking to gather from the sky and the paths of the creator and waiting for me to return to my people, the people of the trail, those who Walk In We.

Walking home at the end of a long, crazy week.

*Although I didn't realize how much I would miss the other girls in the Girls' Band, I know all of them right now and adore them each in a way. I found out today that they requested to walk with me this week - even though I'm not on the trail, it melted my heart to know that they liked me enough to want to walk with me again. And one of my favorites is Dawnstar-ing this week, ie. finishing up, so I won't get to walk with her again. Why is it, when I like a person or group I only walk with them once, when I struggle with a person or group, I walk with them again and again?!

Not Going to the Trail

I had a family vacation in Utah this last week so I didn't go out to the trail with the rest of my rotation group. It's funny: I came to ANASAZI with great apprehension and there have been a few weeks on the trail when all I wanted to do was go home. But not going out on the trail this last week was so hard. I went to the Wednesday morning training to say goodbye to those TWs who would finish and leave while I was on vacation. Seeing them all drive off and knowing some of the YWs they would be going to without me was really hard. That was one of the hardest things, right up there with saying goodbye to the mission and seeing them all carry on in the work without me.

Not a day passed this last week that I didn't think about the trail. The YoungWalkers out there, where they would all be, what they would be doing each day, e.g. - "Today's Thursday, they're hiking again." or "It's Sunday. I wonder if they're taking a layover day." I really miss the trail. I miss how simple things are out there, and how clear my role is. I loved the trail before, but I have never been more excited to get out there and Walk again.

Spending time with my family was great though. Don't get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoyed the vacation and we made some great memories. We stayed at Snowbird in the Cliff Lodge, went on the zip-line and alpine slide in Park City, got together with some old friends, ate lots of yummy food, played games and I coerced them into going hiking. We also started planning our next family hoorah and that was fun. I love my family and Anasazi is all about turning hearts homeward so it was great to be able to be with my family and experience that joy that we seek to instill in our YWs for their families.