Get Lost

My walking has changed so much in the last couple months, it's been more like a running or a climbing, (the struggle is real). One way that I have grown is being able to get lost.

At the beginning of this year, I took on a new role in the wilderness, I became one of the "veterans" and trainers. This meant I would have an entire band of people depending on me. This thought already intimated me and became the driving fear during an experience where I got lost by myself.Knowing where you are and where you're going is crucial in the wilderness. You can put yourself in great peril if you don't take time to learn your surroundings or plan your path well.

It was the week before I would train and I went to the trail to help with some other responsibilities. One of those responsibilities was going into the bands to deliver some supplies. I was alone for this adventure and by the time I finished in the bands it was already dark. I quite the hike ahead of me to get from the bands to our base camp and the area we were staying in was new to me. Despite getting directions from several trustworthy helpers, I took a wrong turn somewhere and ended up in on an unfamiliar path. When I reached the main road I didn't that passed through the area I didn't know if I should follow it to the right or the left. My gut instinct told me to go left and I set off under the stars hoping that this was the right direction.

As I walked along, with little more than the stars to orient I began to worry about my ability to orient. If I could get so disoriented at a place that should have been easy to navigate how was I to lead a group of YoungWalkers and trainees through the back-country? Profound doubts troubled my heart as I walked that quiet path.

I wasn't too worried about my physical well being. Though it was taking longer than I expected, I was comforted by the fact that I knew I had he stamina to wander all night if needed and I felt safe there in the wilderness that I had called "home" for 8 months. It wasn't until I ran into a ranch near the road that I started to worry. I didn't recognize this place and didn't know if it presented any danger. For the first time in a long time, I was afraid.

With nothing more than a compass and my vague memories of this new area, and no way to contact my team, I did the only thing I could do - I got on my knees. Never have I wanted so badly to be back in my safe place. I felt physically and emotionally vulnerable and ached for the safety and comfort of my friends and fellow TrailWalkers around a bright, warm fire. As I called on the heavens to lead me I felt little direct guidance. But standing up, I remembered the saying of a mission companion - "The Lord can't lead us if we're standing still." Reasoning that the ranch was too far and I had been hiking the wrong way, I turned around and began walking the other direction. However, it only took about 5 steps before it felt distinctly wrong. I turned around, still very unsure of my reasoning, but trusting in what I felt. It took another 10 minutes or so (which felt like an hour) but I did finally arrive at my camp.

Rarely have I been so grateful to arrive at my destination. Seeing the faces of my beloved friends and feeling the safety of that place was true peace. But what's more - I learned that I can navigate, not necessarily by the a compass, GPS or even the stars, but by my heart and the love that a Father in Heaven has for me. I can navigate spiritually.

While I still have much honing to do of this unique instrument, it was a beautiful lesson in trusting the Lord, trusting myself and walking forward despite doubts,  "reason", or my own shortsightedness. We must let ourselves get lost from ourselves if we are ever to find the Lord. So get out there. Leave your comfort zone. And let the Lord take you where you really need to be.